


Hey, I Think I Love You

by zams



Category: Criminal Minds RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-10
Updated: 2011-05-10
Packaged: 2017-10-19 05:56:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/197681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zams/pseuds/zams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>After the public birthday peck Shemar sprung on him, Matthew can't help thinking about Shemar and what Shemar actually means to him.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Hey, I Think I Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for dramaa_princess on LJ for her birthday. It was weeks ago, but she's been very patient with me and I hope she enjoys this fic. :D
> 
> Based on the infamous birthday peck between Shemar and Matthew. Many thanks to **Taylor** for beta'ing!

\---

Matthew thinks about the kiss the rest of the day. He keeps catching himself reaching up and touching the spot where Shemar kissed him, right above the corner of his mouth. It all happened so fast that it didn't really hit him until well after the fact: Shemar actually _kissed_ him in front of _everyone_ and while they were being filmed, no less.

By the time Matthew stops to actually think about it, he's alone in his trailer and has ample time to replay the moment in his head over and over.

One minute Matthew was singing 'Happy Birthday' along with everyone else, watching Shemar smile and laugh, and then without even thinking about it, he grabbed Shemar's wrist so he could him closer, and Shemar bent down and kissed him. It lasted all of two seconds, but all his blood rushed to his head, leaving him in a daze. He barely remembers anything after that.

Matthew doesn't know what it meant. Did Shemar think about it, or was it spontaneous? Will it have an impact on their relationship?

Not that they _have_ a relationship.

Or do they?

He's not really sure what they are anymore, or why a simple peck on the cheek is making him worry so much. He and Shemar have been sleeping together for a while now – just three hours ago, he had Shemar's cock in his mouth for a birthday treat, for god's sake! It's ridiculous how that peck makes his heart race.

Maybe it was because the kiss felt different. It was casual. Affectionate. Sweet. Natural. Completely different from when they have sex, which is always hard, passionate, consuming, and powerful.

Matthew didn't even want anything other than a little fun the first time they crossed the line between friends and something else. He was goofing off with Shemar between takes like usual, and somehow they started wrestling, rolling around on the floor in Shemar's trailer. About five minutes in, Shemar managed to pin Matthew and their groins came into brief contact. They both froze, each feeling the other's half-hard cock, staring at each other for all of five seconds before they were kissing frantically, hips thrusting and rubbing. They came in their jeans like fourteen-year-old boys, panting into one another's mouth as they rode out their high.

They didn't talk about it. Shemar stood up, holding out a hand to Matthew, and then Matthew went in the bathroom to clean up as best he could. When he came out, Shemar had changed clothes and was sitting on the couch watching football. Matthew hesitated only a second before he sat down next to him, and they watched the game together, easy and comfortable like always.

And that was the end of that.

Matthew thought it was going to be a one-time thing until three weeks later when Shemar pushed him up against the wall in his trailer and kissed him, grinding the evidence of his arousal against Matthew. He didn't think twice about returning Shemar's kiss and reaching down to undo his pants and slip his hand inside.

For a while, that's all it was: covert hand jobs in various secluded spots on set and in their trailers. Not quite the definition of actual relationship or exclusivity.

But this - whatever is going on between them - has been going on for seven months now and things have progressed way past hand jobs in shadowed corners. How many times has Matthew stayed over at Shemar's place after a long night of fucking? How many times has Shemar come over to Matthew's apartment for beer and wings on game night?

Shemar doesn't feel like his friend anymore. He's too important for that label. It's not enough to describe what Shemar is to him.

Shemar's... more. He's Matthew's best friend. He's the last thought in Matthew's mind at night and the first in the morning. He's the only one who gets Matthew's crazy brand of humor. He's the one who always can get Matthew to crack a smile when he's sad. In the most hidden part of Matthew's mind, he realizes he thinks of Shemar as a partner, not just a friend he fools around with on a regular basis.

And that line of thinking sends Matthew to a screeching halt. Blood rushes to his head, ears ringing and heart pounding so hard he's sure people can hear it a mile away. It feels like a revelation.

He takes a deep breath and lets the thought wash over him. Suddenly, his heart doesn't feel like it's going to burst out of his chest anymore and his mind clears, focusing on one truth that he's finally allowed himself to admit:

He's in love with Shemar.

***

Some time later, there's a knock on his door and it jerks him out of a light doze. He blinks, looking around, and then someone knocks again, louder this time. Yawning, he gets up and opens the door, finding Shemar.

Matthew just stares at him, and yeah, Matthew's definitely in love with him. Just seeing Shemar causes his heart beat pick up and makes him want to smile, a goofy, love-stupid kind of smile that would probably freak Shemar out.

"Uh, can I come in?" Shemar asks.

What Matthew _means_ to say is, "Sure," but what actually comes out is, "I'm in love with you."

Shit.

Well, that wasn't exactly what he wanted to say. Matthew flushes and he laughs nervously. "Um."

"You're... in love with me?" Shemar says it like a question, like he can't believe that's what Matthew just said.

"Yes," Matthew says, grabbing Shemar and pulling him into the trailer. They really don't need an audience for this. He shuts the door behind him, crossing his arms over his chest defensively and trying to organize his thoughts before meeting Shemar's eyes.

The cat's out of the bag now; no use in denying it. He'll have to hope for the best. "I think I've loved you for a while now, actually." He laughs, but it's not a happy sound. "Can you believe it? I didn't even realize it until today when you kissed me in front of everyone. It was all I could think about. I wasn't even going to tell you just now. You know how I am. No filter."

The words finally stop pouring out of him, and he has to look away for a moment. "Is that a problem?" he asks when he's able to look at Shemar again. He wanted the words to be strong, defiant, but they come out hesitant and unsure.

"What? No," Shemar says quickly. "I'm just surprised."

Matthew waits, but Shemar doesn't say anything else. "Surprised," he repeats flatly, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah?" Shemar sounds like he doesn't really know what Matthew's getting at.

And then it's like all the stress and the hope he tried not to feel that built inside him explode from Shemar's disappointing response. Words tumble out of him in a defensive ramble to mask his hurt. "I tell you I love you, on your birthday no less, and all I get is basically, 'that's nice, what's for dinner?' That's real romantic, Shemar. Really. Where did you learn all your tricks? Because I'm just falling all over myself here. It's not like I was thinking maybe you'd, I don't know, kiss me, or hold me, tell me you have feelings for me, too. That would have been nice."

He sucks in a breath and goes right on ranting. "Or maybe you could have thrown yourself into my arms, tearfully confessed your love, and demanded that I make an honest man out of you and marry you? It would have made an awesome YouTube video. Or even-"

Matthew's words are suddenly cut off mid-stream, swallowed by Shemar's mouth. The kiss is gentle, lingering, and when Shemar pulls away, he's grinning.

"Don't think this gets you off the hook!" Matthew snaps. He licks his lips. "You think you can just walk in here, ignore what I said, and then kiss me and I'll just forget about it? You have some damn-"

Shemar kisses him again and his hands cup Matthew's face. "Matt, babe," he says, pressing kiss after kiss to Matthew's mouth. "You're crazy-"

Matthew bites at Shemar's bottom lip for that, tugging on it before he lets go.

Shemar ignores him and says, "But that's just one of the reasons I love you."

That draws Matthew up short. "You do?"

"Yeah," Shemar whispers. His thumbs swipe over Matthew's cheekbones, the sensation of the feather-light strokes making Matthew shiver. "Even when I try, I can't seem to help myself when it comes to you."

Even as his stomach embarrassingly flutters, he wonders aloud, "Was that supposed to be an insult? It kinda seems like it."

"Definitely," Shemar says, his lips twitching.

Matthew snorts, smiling in spite of himself. "You're not a walk in the park either, Shemar. I mean, you snore. It's loud."

"Oh, I'm horrible, babe," Shemar says, leaning in close. "Just horrible."

"It's true," Matthew murmurs. His arms come up to drape over Shemar's shoulders, his fingers pressing into his back. "I only put up with you because somehow I'm crazy in love with you."

"Thank god for that," Shemar breathes, closing the distance between them and kissing Matthew again. "Now let's get out of here. We have dinner reservations tonight."

"What? Where?"

Shemar grins at him. "Chez Moore. Crisp salad, juicy steak, buttery potatoes, and if you're really lucky," he says, shamelessly groping Matthew's ass, "you'll even get dessert."

Matthew rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, but all he wants to do it smile, a big, happy smile that reflects all he's feeling right now. He decides to play along. "What if you'll be the one getting 'dessert' tonight?" His hand sneaks around and pinches Shemar's ass. "How does that sound?"

Shemar looks surprised, but there's no mistaking the interest in his eyes. "That, uh, sounds good," he says, swallowing hard at the gleam in Matthew's eyes.

Matthew steps closer, a wicked smirk curling his lips. "Thought you'd like that," he says, practically purring out the words. He trails his fingertips down Shemar's torso, from his neck all the way down to his belt. Then he hooks his fingers in Shemar's belt loops and tugs a flustered Shemar toward the door. "Now let's go. I'm starving."

\---


End file.
